Playing outside all day in the summer, tagging home base, chasing lightening bugs at dusk, and creating a make believe world with neighborhood kids belonged to the memories of my generation, and it was fun.  Yet if you were also from that era, then you may additionally have some anxiety ridden recall of a “game” from childhood aptly entitled “Monkey in the Middle.”  If you do, and if, like me you have personally experienced the “monkey” part, then your blood just ran cold at the reminder.  

If you don’t recall it, I will explain: The experience involves one person (designated as the “monkey”) between two or more “players” who have taken an article belonging to said “monkey” such as a hat, book, toy, (and definitely the dignity) and then toss it back and forth between “players” over the “monkey’s” head, just out of reach, until the “monkey” is exhausted, perhaps angry, definitely defeated.  

The end of the game is often marked by the demand that monkey calls the magic word “Uncle.” (Why, this particular phrase is used to indicate unconditional surrender is one of the mysteries of the universe.)  The “players” then drop the tossed item in the dirt, over a hill, or they might just hand it back.  This finale of the game is what one might call the “players choice.”   Fun times.

I was a small kid, younger than others in my class, and not athletic so I had to know my way around the contest of being Monkey.  This was only made more challenging by the honed skills of the neighborhood Monkey in the Middle Champ Nicky Gasparato, due in part to his athletic ability plus the tag team power of he and his brother Larry.  (They did grow up to be nice; but I digress.)

The reason I bring up this classic childhood game is because I have been fighting with some of the same feelings and frustrations that were part of that ghastly game. It was easier when at least we had a name for it, and I knew I was “in the middle” and I understood that the rules were stacked against monkey-me. 

I was never the kid on the outside of the ring, and for that I am oddly thankful, but I accepted my trial in the game as part of life, which it was for many of us. Now, when I feel frustrated because my goals seem just out of reach, I admit I can feel more permanently beaten.  

As a kid, I knew that tomorrow was another day, and that by the evening we would be back to jump rope, or chalk coloring on the sidewalk, or I’d get friends to play my games which was their payment for winning Monkey in the Middle.  

We never gave up, or got so angry that truly mean words were spoken, and we continued to believed that it was possible, it just could happen, that one day we’d catch our book or jacket as it sailed over our head from our spot as monkey in the middle.  Gosh I need those skills again!

No, not the skills of losing the game, but the skills of never letting anything be the last word.  As kids we were unendingly creative, and more resilient than one might imagine. The experience might be horrible, but we knew that the game would change.  (And if it got out of hand there was always: “I’m gonna tell,” as a very last ditch, which meant that we were aware that we are not alone in our little world.)

Today, there is a lot of negativity flying around, but we might be best if we let that sort of thing go over our heads.  It’s important that we never give up, we just can’t!  There are still adventures, battles, and more than ever there are injustices to fight.  I love being creative, I love seeing the creative spark in people around me.  

We went through a lot as kids, some kids much more than others, and it’s a challenging time to live.  So, I’ve been dusting off my Monkey in the Middle ability to take it, as it is, as it comes, with less animosity, less anger, and certainly with a belief that there is always hope! 

We may be on different sides at times but we are in this game together.  I really mean this: I’m a Monkey in the Middle survivor, I’ve got my faith, my crew, and nothing scares me anymore.  

“…for God did not give us a spirit of cowardice, but rather a spirit of power and of love and of self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7