The dog was looking directly at me, and I could swear it had a look of pity in his little brown eyes.  

I was driving to a meeting, my mind on a dozen other things when I pulled up to a stop sign at the bottom of my neighborhood.  The dog living on the corner was out in his yard on that rather cool early Spring day. 

The people who live there love their pets, so they take particularly good care of them, and this day it meant that the dog was wearing a little hoodie.  It fit him perfectly.  

The problem was that I was wearing the same damn hoodie (different size).  I sat there in my car a moment when it sunk in that I was dressed like the dog – and the look in his eyes made me think that he seemed slightly offended.  (Okay, maybe that was my imagination, but I’m not sure.)

How had I come to this moment?  Sure, it was just a funny coincidence, but but on the other hand, it represented how far I had fallen recently.  I was dressed like a freaking dog!  (Although I love dogs.)

My deterioration began innocently enough.  Through the last few years it seemed that almost everything else had taken priority over me, the way I felt of certainly the way I looked.  I was getting older and that youthful enthusiasm for going out was certainly becoming a thing of the past.  

How does that happen to us?  Should we do anything about it? 

The main thing I want to say about all of this is that it matters!  When we neglect ourselves it sends a message to the world that we have less value, and it sends the same message to us on an emotional level.  It’s really about falling into a rut and not making an effort.

Having hit rock bottom, which I will define as finding oneself dressed like a local pooch, I had to face tough facts.  I had let this happen, it had been having consequences, and I had to turn this car around.  

It makes me angry when people tell a stressed person to “take time for themselves” as it is really just an insult.  It isn’t that easy for many overwhelmed people.  

First I would suggest being realistic about time constraints.  Don’t become more guilty about not doing enough self care or falling behind.  Don’t expect to “take time” but rather, schedule some time to do something unusual rather than trying to relax the traditional way.  

For example, trying an Escape Room could be a great way to give yourself some time, a new experience, and you’ll be sharpening other skills as well.   Or take a one time class of any sort.

It goes without saying that exercise is helpful, but seriously, it’s hard to get started.  But what about watching dance tutorials on Youtube.  It is less time expended, relaxing in mind and body, and it’s a beginning if you just start to get up and move.  Anything is better than nothing.

Breaking habits and ruts is the key.  Sort out your closet, but only in brief increments.  Watch tv shows that are helpful and encouraging (I like Queer Eye).  Watch a comedy special instead of the same old shows on tv, and get an endorphin boost.  Learn to tell a joke, or some small skill that will break the routine. 

Just try anything! Maybe that’s the key. Again, anything is better than nothing. Any attempt to turn it around for yourself is better than giving up.  Anything is a beginning.  We often think that change can only occur when we throw ourselves into a big renewal project. I find change occurs in drops not in buckets.

So, having found myself dressed like a dog, I know it is time to pay attention and begin again.  There are reasons I found myself neglected and overwhelmed, but I won’t fix it all at once.

Today, I am getting a new hoodie.  That’s the best I can do, for now.