Did you watch the royal wedding this past weekend?  Many people did, and the change that Meghan Markle (now Her Royal Highness) is making reflects major steps forward!  She seems wonderful, and has always had a heart for helping people and encouraging girls and women.  (This is where we all clap for her – or curtsey, as you will.)

I like the Royal family, they generate a ton for the UK, but even if you watched the wedding you were likely not invited, not just because you don’t actually know Meghan or Harry, but because we don’t frequent the world in which they live.  Meghan had famous friends due to the miracle of being successful in the entertainment industry (in no small part due to her looks), but if she had been a teacher, social worker, accountant, or if she had a weight problem, a weird feature, then her odds would have been fairly low (like 0%) of gaining the attention of a Royal.  (Kate drew William’s attention as a model in a lingerie fashion show.)

I’ve watched little girls and young ladies interviewed on the news proclaiming that Meghan has given them new confidence, and that is great.  Meghan as a bi-racial, divorced, American can still jump social barriers, and I cheer along with everyone.  

However, she still ascended based on her appeal to a man who had the power (from birth) to offer the “success” she now enjoys.  She will follow royal protocol, and have too much attention from the press, but I still feel that is not so much of a price to pay for absolute freedom from worry about bills, healthcare, education and opportunities for your children, and being overworked on a daily basis.  You know, like the rest of us.  But we rarely articulate all of that.  

Truth is that our “role models” as women are often those who gained their opportunities based on their appeal to the right man.  It doesn’t lessen their power or my admiration for the work that they do, however it is a subtext that we seem okay with ignoring and never speaking aloud.  (Maybe we can sing it. I was once watching a very old movie in which Al Jolson, surrounded by a chorus line of dancing women, sang the song, “You’d Better Stay Young and Beautiful If You Want to Be Loved.” Yep.)

I’ll say it: Meghan is a royal because Harry chose her.  She couldn’t earn it or aspire to it because it comes only through the grace of a man who has the power to choose.  Is that the story that is giving girls confidence?  I guess it is, because in reality there is so much truth to it.

If you admire any First Lady, we can applaud their good work, but they didn’t apply for the job.  They married it.  The only woman on the list of the wealthiest people in US was born into it. The wealthiest women in the world are “heiresses” or married a wealthy man.  We can’t compete with that, and there is no college major for “marrying into a rich family.”  

For the men, I can’t imagine the pressure in life to try to compete in a world where the “competition” has been handed the trophy of family wealth from the get go.  They can occasionally “marry” for stability but for the most part it is up to them.  (Although I did see Elton John’s husband at the royal wedding, so there is some hope, guys.) 

Yes, I have lots of issues with this entire subject, but it was summed up in a video posted by an Irish mom who had to explain to her lovely young daughter that she was NOT going to the royal wedding – because it isn’t for people like her.  (Cue the sound of my heart breaking for her.) That’s a hard lesson to learn: not for people like us.  

What is my point with all of this?  I suppose I would like us to speak more honestly about the conundrum, and question the class system, but I don’t know if that will ever change anything.  What I will speak for is holding up our own value, our own support of one another, our own ability to do good in our little part of our own little non-royal world, and not placing too much attention on those places where we are not invited.  

Our role models can be the teachers, parents, hard working men and women who truly make the world better, day by day, with no fanfare, no castles or carriages to keep them separate and special.  The women and men who change our lives rarely get a curtsey, or even a decent “thank you!” for all that they do.  I would like to change that….but…?

I’ll enjoy the news of the royal couple, wish them well, enjoy their lives and work from the internet sites that constantly feed us updates on “important” people like them.  But like the rest of you I will get up in the morning, and again try to do what I believe is the right thing, even when no one is watching, even though I will never be a guest at the Palace.  

I mean, does it really make anyone a better person if they are famous or royal?  Hey, the Bible tells us that we are all sons and daughters of the Most High God, so maybe we should act like it; and if I want a crown I can always go to Burger King!

“For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God.  So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.”  For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. And since we are his children, we are his heirs.” Romans 8: 14-17